Who am I today, from the person yesterday?

Sh. Don't tell my secrets.

Well, let's start off saying that I am a pretty difficult human being, and no one sees me when they look at me. They see the girl with the scars, the girl with the weird hair, the to tall, to pale girl. The one that looks suicidal, well fine. If you want to think that. You can. But you know what? I don't even care what you have to think about me. Because if you aren't going to take the time to get to know me, you can quit looking at me with that funny face you get when you see something you've never seen before. I put on this plastic smile, everyday, to get through the day, without a question of "Are You Okay?" because, I will never be okay. Who is? Everyone acts like they are, but deep inside they're bleeding. I just want to tear the mask off sometimes infront of people I trust, but it's hard to. It's hard to show my true colors when no one wants to see a sad girl, no one likes a Debbie Downer, right?  I'm sure there's a lot of people like me, some might be bad, some might be good. And all I know is, I AM a good person, whether you like it or not. I can be the sweetest person ever. And I can be evil. I can be horrible to you, crush you into pieces and I can build you back up again. Easy as that. It's because I know how people work, even though I don't know all the time. I don't find myself attractive, or well-liked. Well, I guess I think I'm kind of pretty in pictures, but I look SO different in person. I know I'm not liked because of how I look. But if you can't accept me, I'll find someone that will. I have a view of myself, that is clear as mud. And I am blinded by the beauty I see in this world, I look for the small, beautiful things, not the nasty, nasty, nasty ugly things you see everywhere, like the planet, is nasty. No one wants to take care of it. And most the time no one wants me around, just like they don't want a bug around. Ha. Great metaphor right? Nah. I am very open-minded and I don't judge people by how they look I think that people should be judged by who they are. That is why I do not have a sexual orientation. I am pansexual. And proud of it. You don't like it? Lol, go away then. This blog will be about my every day life, and my past. And how I want to forget some of it, if you don't want to hear the thoughts I have, the things that has happened to me, I suggest you get off this blog now. But if you want to understand me better. Okay, stay. And see who I really am inside.

My life as I know it, is a dead end.